ALMOST done with that "computer diet" - but I had to come out of hiding a BIT - since I am HOSTING Friday Fiction today!! (move is this evening, by the way - and I'll be without internet until Sunday some time after church - hopefully soon after I'll be around regularly again :D)
Be sure to link up in the MckLinky gadget below with your own fiction contribution - and read what others have posted. It's always a blessing!
This piece was TONS of fun to write, and it placed quite well in the FaithWriters Writing Challenge. I wrote it over 2 1/2 years ago, and it still makes me giggle (and wonder if I have an "Amanda Lynn" living in my house!).
Mrs Chillsome Chills Out
"Now I want you all to sit cross-legged on the floor."
"Umm... Mrs. Chillsome?"
Sarah Chillsome groaned almost silently (almost). "Yes, Amy?"
"It's Amanda Lynn, please."
"Okay, Amanda Lynn. And you can call me Sarah. What do you need?"
"I can't sit cross-legged."
"I am physically unable to sit Indian style. My limbs don't bend that way."
Sarah forced the corners of her mouth up. "Okay, then. Why don't you just sit in whatever position makes you most comfortable? Does that work?"
Amanda grinned, her eyes sparkling. "That sounds great. I'll just be sitting here with my knees bent in front of me. Would that be okay?"
"That's perfect." Sarah widened her gaze from Amanda Lynn to the other adults in her relaxation class. "Now rest your hands on your lap."
"Mrs. Chillsome, I don't really have a lap right now."
Half the class snickered.
"Well, then, Amanda Lynn, you could always rest them around the front part of your legs. It should give the same effect."
"That's a great idea, Mrs. Chillsome. I'll just do that."
"Wonderful." She took a deep breath. "All right now, class, close your eyes."
Sarah paused, waiting for an objection. After several seconds, she continued.
"Now take a deep breath through your nose and let it out slowly through your mouth."
"Mrs. Chillsome? I have decreased lung capacity."
"You have what?"
"Decreased lung capacity. If I take too deep a breath I could start hyperventilating."
"I see." Sarah spoke slowly and deliberately. "I would recommend, then, that you only take as deep a breath as you can, um, safely."
Amanda Lynn hit herself lightly on the side of her head. "Now why didn't I think of that? You sure are helpful, Mrs. Chillsome."
"Thank you. Now, shall we get back to our relaxation techniques?"
"Sure. Sounds good to me."
That was a rhetorical question, you dingbat!
"Great. Return to your position, Amanda Lynn, dear, and we can continue."
"Okay - all set."
"Wonderful. Now continue with your breathing, and picture a peaceful place in your mind. Imagine yourself at the beach, on your porch swing, in a meadow: anywhere that you can just let go of all your stresses and worries. Focus on that scene, and let all your troubles flow out of you as you breathe out."
Sarah gritted her teeth. "Yes, Amanda Lynn."
"The hole in my mouth is too small. All my troubles won't fit."
"Why don't you just let them out a couple at a time, dear? They'll all escape sooner or later."
"Well, they keep sneaking back in up my nose."
She stifled back a snicker. "How about if you open your mouth a bit wider? Maybe that way more will get out than come back in."
"Thanks, Mrs. Chillsome. I'll definitely give that a try."
A couple minutes later, Sarah glanced at her watch and sighed. "Okay, class. Slowly open your eyes. Unfortunately, class is over. Thank you so much for coming. I hope this was helpful for you."
Sarah stood at the doorway and shook hands with each student in turn, apologizing with her eyes. Amanda Lynn was the last to exit.
She grabbed Sarah's hand eagerly. "Oh, Mrs. Chillsome, I just can't thank you enough. I feel so relaxed and calm now. That was such a wonderful class, I think I might just sign up for another!"
"Wonderful, Amanda Lynn," Sarah mumbled. "Just wonderful."
Thanks for reading - I covet your prayers for my move today - and be SURE to click on the links below for more great fiction!
Paving Rough Roads With God's Presence
Funny story! I hadn't read it before....but I have had some Amanda Lynns in my classroom a few times. SMILE!ReplyDelete
Very cute, Joanne! I am going to go about my day remembering to breathe in, breathe out, and let Him take all my worries! (And hope I don't annoy anybody in the process!)ReplyDelete
I know some Amanda Lynn's, but unfortunately, I an also be one.ReplyDelete
Has Mrs. Chillsome been praying for patience lately? :) I hope we see you back in Friday Fiction more regularly now, Joanne!ReplyDelete
You are awesome, Joanne! Moving and still found time to host Friday Fiction, thank you!ReplyDelete
Mrs. Chillsome, had me giggling out loud. I have met a couple of Amanda's! Hugs, Rita
So funny. I hadn't read it, either. What was the topic, I'm wondering? Praying for the big move. Exciting!ReplyDelete
I wonder what Mrs. Chillsome had to do AFTER the class to relax the stress her dingbat student caused? :PReplyDelete
ROFL! I remember this one. Still makes me laugh--heehee...I think Mrs. Chillsome ROCKED! ^_^ReplyDelete
Good one, I really enjoyed this, thanks for the time hugs, and stop by visit my blog one day, sit a spell and sip some tea with me.ReplyDelete
Hugs Barbara from