“The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter. ’tis the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning.” Mark Twain

Why Am I Like This?

 ...She said, "If all is well, why am I like this?...|” Genesis 25:22(NKJ)

God has it all under control.
You know that, right? Nothing happens without being sifted through His fingers. He may not like all that happens, but He allows it. It is all for His glory. All of it.

In God's view all is - or at least will be - well. And we have no reason to worry or fret.

But still we do. Or at least I do. I can't count the number of times I have sat in the midst of my life and fretted. Asked  why. Worried about the future. Wondered what in the %&#@ (pardon my French) God was doing.

Rebecca, wife of Isaac and mother of Jacob and Esau, did it too. I was reading through Genesis  25 just a few days ago, and I noticed my own heart's cry on several occasions there on the page - from the mouth of one of the matriarchs.

Let me set the scene. Rebecca had been married to Isaac for twenty years, and they were childless. Isaac pleaded to God for her, and she conceived. I'm certain she was thrilled with this. But everything wasn't ideal during this pregnancy.
But the children struggled together within her; and she said, “If all is well, why am I like this?”... Genesis 25:22
Lord, if you gave me this writing gift, why am I so frustrated?

If my husband's health issues are in Your perfect plan, why is it so stressful and hard on all of us?

If You trusted me to raise my children, why do they lead me to tears and grey hairs?

If all is well, Lord, why am I like this?

Sometimes, it takes a very long time to get the answer to that question. Sometimes He gives me a small glimpse of His reasoning - through the blessings that come out in my trials, or my spiritual growth because of my difficulties. On occasion, it's my sin. Other times, I'm sure I won't find out this side of heaven.

But every once in a while, I hear an answer whispered in my ear. It's not always the same, but the essence is this: "It's not all about YOU, Jo."

God didn't put me here on earth to be happy and comfortable. I am not the center of the universe. His eternal plan includes a lot more than just my life. Sometimes, I am "like this" for the benefit of another, of the big picture.

And because I trust God, SOMETIMES, that has to be - should be - enough.


How hard is it for you to trust Him? Have you ever felt like Rebecca? Has God given you hints for why you are "like this?" Come join me at Living By Grace on Facebook and we can chat.

Traveling Rough Roads With God's Strength


  1. Isn't it true—we think, act and react as though it WAS all about us when it is all about HIM and His big picture. Great reminder (and rebuke), Joanne.

  2. Oh my goodness, Jo.
    Soooo good and so true. Thank you. So very timely.

  3. Oh sweet one... I understand. I've been saying the same thing for 20 years! I cannot always see the worthiness of my seasons, but God is always faithful to see me through them and bring me safely to the other side.

    I pray that God will grant you glimpses of his plan for your life, especially on those days when all breaks down and brings you to your knees!

    Perhaps the best place for all of us to be.


  4. Awesome post, Joanne! So funny that the Lord led us both to post on similar topics - that age-old question, Why? Love the fresh perspective you brought to this topic with Rebecca's ponderings. I never thought about it this way before. Know that I'm praying for you as you experience the ups and downs of this life. God bless!


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